Saturday, February 11, 2012

Coming out to my family, Part 2

Here's part 2 of my coming out to my family.  My sister is pretty freaking awesome, she's a year younger than me and is a lot of times my voice of reason in a sea of self-doubt.  She tells it like it is and has no problem in doing so.

She was coming home for the weekend from college and knew that I had been dealing with a ton of panic attacks and couldn't understand why, but she was pissed that I was having them.  She would say things like "What do you honestly have to panic about, I don't understand where this is coming from, just get over it!" ha ha if only she knew.... So I decided to take her to a favorite spot of mine on the ocean and we just sat around talking for a bit about life and our mom (I'll talk more about her in part 3).

So in the middle of our conversation I took a page from Average Gay Dude's book and came out with the line, "If I were to die tomorrow, would there be anything that you would want to know about me that you didn't think you already knew".  Well, she started to get upset and asked me if I was going to kill myself.  I just laughed and said no, no worries on that front, just answer the question.  She said "no, what's going on...?".  That's when I came out with it;  I said I'm gay and all the blood rushed to her face, she looked like a deer caught in headlights and blurted out "What!? Wait....really?".

I said yes really and we talked for a bit about all the stuff I went over with our dad.  Earlier that night, before I came out to her, I asked her how my voice sounded.  She seemed confused by this and said "What do you mean?  You sound like a dude",  I said really, like my voice is deep and masculine and all?, to which she responded with, "uh, yeah and I am pretty sure your voice is deeper than my boyfriends".  Phew, I was in the clear on that now back to that spot on the ocean.

When we were talking she became super stoked and happy, she said "I always wanted a gay best friend/brother and now I have one!"  I assured her that just because I'm gay doesn't mean that I'm not still a dude and that I wouldn't be going shopping with her or talking about hair and make-up.  I'll leave that stuff to her girl friends and other gay guys, if thats what they're into.  She's chill with that, she's just wicked happy to have a gay bro.  She's always talking about how much she loves the gays!  So after this we went to grab a bite to eat at a great local place and just talked more about what had just happened.  I feel so much closer with her and it feels really good that she now knows all of me.  She's the best, we have our issues, like any siblings but I def don't know what I would do without her.

Part 3 is coming!

ps I'm pretty sure the most upsetting thing about this for her was that I didn't go off on her gaydar, which she says is always spot on lol


  1. I'm following! Seems like the honour of being the first one is mine! ;-)

    Don't care too much about your masculinity, you talk a lot about that. Being yourself will do just fine. You're questionning your own masculinity because you know you're gay and you link it with the 'stereotypical gay' stuff, but I'm sure other people don't even have a clue.

    Man, al that energy I have put in looking more masculine than I already was, sometimes it must have been so over the top it was almost funny I guess. There's no need to be a rambo...

    Keep up the posting, it seems you're doing good with your family!

  2. Thanks man! Appreciate it....yeah I have def calmed down about caring so much, I realized that I just have more important things in my life to deal with and that everything is all in my head. And you're right, people don't have any clue lol

    I have never tried to act a certain way - just always been myself pretty much, except the whole gay thing....

    Anyway, thanks for following and I'll definitely keep it up.