Tuesday, May 14, 2013

A Rant on Gay Myths...

This is really only about one myth or theory; that a gay son does not get along well with his father and has a closer relationship with his mother.  And if one gets deeper into this theory they will find so-called "evidence" that it is because of the lack of father/son bonding that the son is gay. I've always found this interesting and most definitely false, at least pertaining to my life and the relationships I had with both of my parents growing up.  When I was a kid I was always closer to my dad and to this day that is still very true.  All throughout my early teens, high school, and into college I had a much closer bond with my dad.

It's not that I didn't have a good relationship with my mom, we just didn't see eye to eye on many things and I had anger issues that she couldn't handle.  Our mother/gay-son relationship definitely wasn't what our modern-day culture has made it up to be in movies, books, and articles. Things were great when my sister and I were kids but then as we moved through early adolescence my sister became very close to our mother and I became increasingly distant.  Since birth I've been close with my father.  He always tells the story of how he was the only one who could get me to fall asleep as a baby.  As a kid my dad and I did many things together; going to the beach, practicing for little league and soccer, hiking, going for drives at Christmastime to look at the lights, etc...  there are so many more but those are honestly my best and favorite times with my dad.

Most importantly, he has taught me how to be the man that I am becoming and to be the kind of human being that we should all strive to be; accepting, kind, respectful, honest, trustworthy, dedicated, loyal, you get the point.  Basically just to be a good person, treat others well, and make the most of the time we've got here on earth.  I'm not claiming to be the perfect example of any of these qualities.  I try to be.  My dad, however, is pretty damn close to having it down pat.

I take issue with stereotyping or generalizing.  Mainly because no one (or at least very few) fit into the nice little square boxes our society has built for us.  There are straight men that are momma's boys and there a gay men that are their father's son.  Are there situations where a father and son don't get along because the son is gay?  I'm sure there are many....I am just sick of hearing all these "reasons" that might contribute to what makes a person homosexual.  How about...now this is a big one....wait for it.....WE JUST ARE!  Just like our heterosexual brothers and sisters are they way they are, so to are we.  Now everyone may not share this opinion but, to me, it makes sense.  All of this goes far beyond this one topic; it moves into the interests we have as men and women and what they say about our masculinity and femininity.  I have known masculine men that have interests that would be labeled as 'gay' or 'feminine' and feminine women that have interests that are known to be typically 'masculine' but, that is post for another day.

For now, what do you dudes think?  How are your relationships with your dads?  Thoughts on stereotyping and generalizing?

PS.  If anyone who reads this blog happened to catch Boston VS Toronto on Monday night, please feel free to comment on the radtacular awesomness of the final minutes of the third period of Game 7.  Boston Strong.