tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7910865922834330259.post941063354267607099..comments2018-06-01T11:54:15.254-07:00Comments on Soundtrack 2 My [Gay] Life: ChangeSoundtrack2M[G]Lifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08644169384489043386noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7910865922834330259.post-7510676731284494772012-06-15T05:33:48.556-07:002012-06-15T05:33:48.556-07:00It seems like I missed this post earlier for some ...It seems like I missed this post earlier for some reason...<br /><br />Wow that's quite a bunch you've gone through. I already knew most of it, but if you write it down like that you get the whole picture. <br /><br />You know I struggled (and still do often) with all those things that are changing and those good times that seem to never come back again? I'm thinking about college fun time, but even stuff from my childhood when everything was simple, everybody had time for each other, people around me were healthy and half of the family wasn't divorced. <br /><br />I do realise know that what I rememeber is an idealised version of what was, because if I think a little furhter I forgot all about the fucked up feelings, the false friendships, the peer pressure, having no one to relate, the feeling of being useless, the longing to be grown up. <br /><br />I do realise too that those changes are for everyone. I'm really not the only one who has to work his ass off the whole week only to crash on the couch watching tv at night, instead of having the energy for going out and doing whatever. Seriosly, my classmates from high school or college aren't exactly busy doing sports or going out every night. They're caring for children, and worrying about their parents cancer, the lack of money or time, getting a better job or a decent house. Sometimes through facebook or whatever it seems like everyone is having the time of their life. People post about that one splendid hiking weekend, not about that weekend spending by cleaning the house, doing the taxes or whatever and feeling exhausted.<br /><br />At the same time I'm getting to realise I have to blame myself for some things that are not like they used to be. I need to put more energy in maintaining friendships and making new ones instead of being melancholic about those that are gone or changed. I need to go for what I want and not reflect about what went wrong in the past. I need to focus on live in the moment and stop going back or overthink about the future. <br /><br />I guess it's working, although with babysteps. I know you can do it too. Coming out was already a huge step. Writing your blog and going to therapy will help you too. You mentioned going back to school again, wich is another big step. The feeling of doing well will follow, and give you the energy of picking up social life and doing fun things again. Slowly, remember, but it will.<br /><br />Take care!Kevinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05916726989661789217noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7910865922834330259.post-42973950893534036792012-06-04T19:39:57.913-07:002012-06-04T19:39:57.913-07:00I'm sorry to hear that things are so overwhelm...I'm sorry to hear that things are so overwhelming man. I really admire your strength in getting through all of these hard times. Just know that things will get better. I wasn't always a believer in that, but I am now. It's great that you are being proactive by going to therapy and working to come to terms with being gay. Best wishes to you and your family.SCalRFhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11932209776645838055noreply@blogger.com