tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7910865922834330259.post8541677641202506946..comments2018-06-01T11:54:15.254-07:00Comments on Soundtrack 2 My [Gay] Life: Wife, kids, and a Boyfriend on the Side...Soundtrack2M[G]Lifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08644169384489043386noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7910865922834330259.post-13883270629619432752012-09-01T09:56:26.513-07:002012-09-01T09:56:26.513-07:00@ OBNS - thanks for taking the time to check out m...@ OBNS - thanks for taking the time to check out my blog and comment, preciate it man! I know deep down what is right for me, but sometimes I have freak outs because of my anxiety and this post is a result of that. I want to live a life that's true to who I am. Reading comments left by fellow bloggers, such as yourself, help get me to a better place mentally. Soundtrack2M[G]Lifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08644169384489043386noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7910865922834330259.post-69738875991456879832012-08-29T16:38:38.838-07:002012-08-29T16:38:38.838-07:00Hi. I discovered your blog a few months ago and ch...Hi. I discovered your blog a few months ago and check eagerly for new posts. I was going to write after the penultimate post when you were really down in the dumps, but never got to it, I'm afraid. <br /><br />On the subject of marriage and children, I am a form of expert, having "lived the lie" for more years than I care to think about. (I have fessed up know and am still married to my wife. But that is a story for another time.) having observed my own children and many others of "straight" couples, many now adults with children of their own, I am convinced that kids need role models and probably role models of both sexes. However, those role models don't have to be, and in many cases are, not parents or relatives. They can be teachers, youth leaders,<br />Parents or older siblings of friends, and so on. A lot of finding a role model is dumb luck; otherwise why do some kids find good ones and others find rotten ones. And, further, a lot of people who think they are good parents and role models, turn out not to be.<br />So would I have done it differently, had I grown up in an era when identifying oneself as gay was widely accepted? I would like to think I would have. Having done it the way I did has given me and my family a lot of angst.<br />And whethe hetero- or homo-, having children should never be the principal reason to find a partner. If that is the overriding factor behind a coupling, emotional or physical, it is a recipe for disaster. Our procreative urges are very strong, but like the rest of our urges they need to be reined in. <br />So, if I am entitled to give any advice at all, find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and then decide how children will fit into your life. If they don't, don't get rid of him. Everything has a trade off.<br /><br />You seem to be a smart fellow and you will figure out what is best for you. in the meantime, as you bump acrossthe ruts in the road of life, God speed!<br />olderbutnosmarterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10747763692197136080noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7910865922834330259.post-73179777719930590002012-08-26T21:17:41.611-07:002012-08-26T21:17:41.611-07:00scairf - thanks for the article dude! I know its p...scairf - thanks for the article dude! I know its probably just my anxiety getting the best of me, but I have a feeling that I'm gonna end up married (to a dude) with kids. Life's too short to live a lie and not be happy.<br /><br />Kevin - you made great points man, everything you said is legit. The fact is I want a real life, a life with someone I'm attracted to both physically and emotionally. I know things will all work out, but as I've said before (a million times haha) things are just kinda rough for me right now cause I'm still in the beginning stages of coming out.Soundtrack2M[G]Lifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08644169384489043386noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7910865922834330259.post-36057408292471087572012-08-26T14:34:23.103-07:002012-08-26T14:34:23.103-07:00Hey bud. I guess you already know my opinion as me...Hey bud. I guess you already know my opinion as me and Stof are trying to adopt kids... <br /><br />Indeed living a lie is not the right way to have kids. How can you make your kids happy if you're not? So I wouldn't recommand the 'living together with a Lesbian woman' option nor other the like. <br /><br />About the possible bullying kids from gay parents could have to undergo, just think bullies always find a reason to bully a (weaker) child. Kids get bullied because their parents are pour, rich, black, fat, old or wathever, so is that a valid reason? Should all these people have no kids too then? If you're open about the 'situation' and learn them how to cope with bullies (being the smartest one) this doesn't have to be a big deal for the kids. <br /><br />And I don't think it's about having a woman and a man as parents, but having parents that can provide the 'so-called female' and 'so-called male' influence and care. My own mom actually 'played' more of a 'father-role' being the pushy and strict one who told us to have good grades etc. and my dad more the caring 'mother-role', so why could two men or woman not do the same? Also I second SCalRF that other women (family and friends) help providing the female role model.<br /><br />But, you still got time to sort that out... first discover the right love and enjoy your youth. Take care!Kevinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05916726989661789217noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7910865922834330259.post-30441718458794151592012-08-20T23:33:44.617-07:002012-08-20T23:33:44.617-07:00Hey man, here's a link to an article that fan ...Hey man, here's a link to an article that fan of casey posted on my blog, you might find it interesting. It's about a gay couple raising 12 adopted kids! http://www.azcentral.com/news/azliving/articles/2011/05/02/20110502gay-dads-ham-family-12-adopted-kids.html?page=1<br /><br />I share some of the same hang-ups as you, regarding the fairness of raising kids in a household where they are missing either a mother or father figure. I think most important is that the relationship of their parents is loving and the household is stable. Any drawbacks to lacking a mom in the household would hopefully be minimized by having other female role models in their lives (an aunt, a grandma, or a godmother perhaps?)SCalRFhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11932209776645838055noreply@blogger.com